ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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