Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
