We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
