can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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