woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize