Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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