My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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