She said her name was "party"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
