Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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