i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
