I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
