it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
