he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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