Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
