With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
