he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize