it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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