nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
