do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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