he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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