you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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