Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
