everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
