WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
