he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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