Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
