This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
