I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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