i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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