Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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