dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
