My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Panties = found
Randomize
