Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
