how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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