Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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