Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
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She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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