TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
