FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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