the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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