Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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