I'm eating all of the evidence.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
