whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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