Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
well you can't waste a boner
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
