and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Even my vagina gasped.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
