They should really pass out barf bags in church
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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