Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
FUCK WHALES
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
