I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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