I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize