yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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