Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
