I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
