We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
