in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
