I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
