great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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