all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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