This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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