so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
