can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
