don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
