So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
