I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
