Can i not drive my cunt home
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Your dad touched me again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
