More tranny stories later!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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