There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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