dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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