It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
