i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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