so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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